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My Vagina and TMI

Warning: Explicit and constant use of words like Vagina, cunt, pussy and talk of medical conditions that the faint of heart would consider inappropriate. But, fuck it, it’s my body.

I have some pretty solid proof that most doctors don’t actually know shit about medicine, health, or healing in general. I have had the blessing in disguise opportunity to play doctor on myself these past few months to cure some chronic and annoyingly common infections: Yeast, BV, and UTI. ugh. the common colds of the cunt. As it turns out, my gyno didn’t help AT ALL, rather HE made the situation worse. Tip #1: If you want to know anything about your pussy, ask a sex worker. It’s ridiculous how many tips, tricks and cures they know just from trial and error. Now I know how to cure all three at the same time. With traditional medication, you end up curing one, only to induce another. Case in point: Antibiotics cause yeast infections. Medication for yeast infections tend to cause BV. and just throw a UTI in there for fun. Plus, the medication has horrific side effects. Naturally I experienced most of them. Without further ado, Here is the recipe for a perfectly happy pussy:

If you have had one or more issues with yeast, BV or UTI here is your new daily routine:

Probiotics (pills-refrigerated kinds tend to be the best/freshest)

Cranberry tablets (prevents UTI’s, promotes urinary tract health)

Water, Water, Water

If you notice a yeast infection coming on or BV insert Boric Acid capsules. (Hard to find, look online) and repeat this list

Stay the fuck away from too much caffeine, sugar and alcohol (super hard to do if you are a sex worker-especially caffeine and alcohol)

Good Luck!

 

About fridaynitelesbianscrabble

Lesbian Chicana creating a space to talk about health, sex, books, political and social issues that are specific to my intersections as a lesbian, Chicana, femme, writer.

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